Last Friday our girl, Chewbacca, lost her battle to live. We tried soooo hard to keep her with us but her body just couldn’t do it. Our hearts are totally broken. We have lost alot of dogs. For me personally this is the list: Butterball, Midnight, Mini, Bingo, Nanook, Starbuck, Taylor, Garth, Captain, Cricket, Dusty, Smokey – and now Chewbacca. Each time we lose a pet we can’t see how any pet loss can hurt more – and then we lose another and the despair is more great.
There is a poem that says “every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them…”. But I have to say it is more like they take a piece of your soul, your very existence becomes “less” without them. In time, we will move on but she/they will never ever be forgotten. This is a lesson I learned a long time ago but this loss is the one where my kids are now learning the lesson. Captain, Cricket and Dusty are but memories for my kids – they barely remember them. Smokey hit them hard – they still get upset about the loss of Smokey and that was five years ago. This second loss has them reeling. They now know that with love, sometimes comes unrelenting pain. The love is worth it but the pain takes a while to manage and become partners in residence with. I wish they never had to learn this lesson but unfortunately we all have to.
For now, we miss our best friend and we know she is in a better place with all her other friends. She does not want us to shed any more tears (though we are) and she is no longer in pain.