5 Steps to Consider When Deciding If Divorce Is Right for You

5 Steps to Consider When Deciding If Divorce Is Right for You

Mulling on the decision to file a divorce can be a stressful ordeal. It’s a life-altering decision that will affect you, your children, and your immediate family. Going through it will also cost you your time, money, and emotional health as you sort through the pain that comes with any separation. With that said, being able to detach from your partner can be such a freeing moment as you begin a new chapter. There are a hundred outcomes to a divorce, but make sure that you are prepared to live by it. If you’re still unsure, read this first to help you decide. 

5 Steps to Consider

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that whatever decision you make, you’ll have to live through its consequences. So, before you call your divorce lawyer and sign the paperwork, think long and hard about what this divorce will mean to you. And, to help you clear some of your thoughts, here are some things that you should consider first before filing one: 

Communicate and Be Honest

Introspection and open communication are important in a marriage. For it to work smoothly you have to be honest with yourself and with your partner. Sort out your feelings first and learn to voice out your emotions. Be it positive or negative, being passive is simply not the right choice. Keep in mind that no emotion is too insignificant or trivial. Every thought and feeling matters and deserves to be heard. 

In the case of conflicting experiences, opinions, needs, and demands, these can always be talked about. However, it’s important to remember that communication is a two-way street, as one has to listen to the other. If your partner is uncooperative you can always seek help from relationship professionals like limarzicounselling.ca to help you out. And, if matters simply continue to escalate, with no chances of the resolution, then maybe it’s time to consider divorce. 

Listen to Confused Thoughts

How you perceive your marriage may be different from how your partner and the outside world see it. This disconnect can be attributed to the mixed relationship behaviours that you and your partner exhibit, which can send off contradictory signals and interpretations. Some couples who continuously fight or experience abuse may choose to stay due to a low-self-esteem, difficulty breaking the control cycle, and guilt. 

Other factors contribute to this, but it often leaves a person in a confused psychological state at the end of the day. Always remember that a loving relationship is supposed to give you clarity and vision for the future. If your thoughts are getting muddled and confusing, then it’s probably time for you to think of filing a divorce. 

Wishing for Another Life

Fantasizing about someone’s death can be such a morbid experience, much worse if it’s your partner. You might feel guilty after doing it, but psychologists suggest that this is an inevitable thing as the brain imagines future problems and how to cope with them. However, doing it constantly, until you wish that it’s your reality, can be problematic. 

This often starts with the feeling to be someplace else rather than in the arms of your partner, which then proceeds to more macabre imaginings. Having these thoughts is a serious indication of the desire to separate. If you’re wishing to leave and start anew, then it may be important to consider a divorce, rather than let these desires fester and take on actual grisly events. 

Consider the Work

Before you decide on whether divorce is right for you, consider first its consequences and the effort that you’ve made to make your marriage work. Sometimes couples who go through with divorce get remarried after they’ve realized the things that they could change and do better. So, instead of making snap decisions, spending immense resources, and causing sudden changes in your family’s life, better take a step back and think things through. 

Think about what you and your partner can do to fix and rebuild things. There are different methods to deal with your differences and problems like counselling. However, if it simply won’t work, then divorce is right there for you.

Think Long-term

Getting a divorce in Ontario can last from 4 to 6 months. However, the repercussions of the process can last a lifetime. From alimony, separate property, added costs, emotional trauma, problematic childhood development, and more; if not handled well, these are the future problems that you could face with a rushed divorce. So, before you file the paperwork, take your time and think if you can deal with these things. 

Perfect marriages don’t exist. Couples can work as hard as they can to push through, but there are just certain issues that can’t be settled. When that happens, divorce is one way to break the marriage while making sure that the welfare of both parties is looked after. However, it can be such a challenging and arduous process, so once you go through it, you have to make sure that you can endure. 


One thought on “5 Steps to Consider When Deciding If Divorce Is Right for You

  1. Edna Williams says:

    The important thing to consider when contemplating a divorce is obtaining good legal counsel. The steps you outline before getting to that point are definitely worth expoloring. Thanks for the article!

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